Best Sleep Never
by lazyprojector
Summary: Jean Kirstein hasn't slept a wink since he got his new bunkmate, Bertolt Hoover, and Reiner Braun has just the unconventional solution to work.


**Author's note: it's been a while since I've written smut... so sorry in advance.**

Four hours of sleep. Four fucking hours of sleep. That is what Jean Kirstein mutters to himself while washing windows. In the reflection of the clean glass, Jean notices bags under his eyes. He shudders at the thought of looking like Shadis, wrinkled and saggy, but he's already on the way. Jean peers into the glass again and sees Bertolt Hoover behind him. That lanky son of a bitch, as Jean now calls him, is the source of his sleep deprivation. For reasons unknown, Bertolt cannot sleep like a goddamned normal human being. Instead, he sleeps with his limbs skewed in every way possible, spreading his body clear across the bed. The only reason this pisses Jean off is because he sleeps right beside Bertolt in their cramped quarters, and he always manages to smack Jean in the face or push Jean off from his bed. Even when Jean decides to sleep on the floor, one of Bertolt's limbs manages to swing and hit his body. It's enough to kill the ongoing crush he has been sporting on Bertolt for the past few months. Sleep is way more important than sleeping next to your unwittingly abusive crush, and nothing is sacred when it comes to Bertolt's sleeping position. Though the upside is that Jean now knows that it will rain a little in the afternoon.

After chores, lunch break begins. Jean looks over to the mess hall and considers what training will be like if he skips on a meal. He only knows that if he doesn't go that Sasha and Connie will fight for his food. He also knows that if he instead goes to quarters, he may be able to get a half hour of sleep, which sounds like the most amazing thing to Jean. He tries to evaluate which of the prospects will help him out. He supposes if he can eat a piece of bread and a bowl of soup in five minutes, he will be able to take a short nap. Jean thinks this prospect might be the best though he is unsure if he will be able to fall asleep fast enough to even get a good 20 minutes. The only thing Jean really knows is that if he doesn't get into the top ten of the class and has to be sent off to die in the Survey Corps that he will be dragging Bertolt to that hell with him.

Jean decides to take his chances and gets lunch. His mouth tires after a few bites of bread. He cannot believe that he is so tired that he can't even manage to eat, and now he has Sasha on his back, salivating over his jacket. He knew life as a cadet wasn't going to be great, but this… this was just humiliating. He keeps nodding off while chewing, not noticing Reiner there chuckling at him. Jean finally wakes up a bit and suddenly jerks up, making Reiner laugh even more.

"Bertl keeping you up at night?" Reiner says.

"Huh? How did you know?" Jean says.

"You do know that we come from the same hometown. Right? He's been like that forever."

"Yeah, but you look like you've actually slept before that."

Reiner shrugs and takes a bite from his bread.

"There's a trick to getting Bertolt to sleep in a somewhat normal position. It involves a little… ahem…" Reiner says as he wiggles his eyebrows.

"I seriously have no idea what you're trying to do," Jean says.

"You know?" Reiner says this time with his thumb and forefinger connecting in a circle with his other forefinger poking through repeatedly.

Jean's eyes widen as he starts to push away from the table.

"Reiner! Stop fucking with me," Jean says.

Reiner laughs and says, "Yeah but that's what you got to do with Bertl."

"Seriously!" Jeans says as he slams his head against the table- for some reason this feels better than sleepless nights.

Reiner closes in on Jean and whispers, "Look, that's the fact. Anytime after Bertl comes, he's relaxed to the point where he just sleeps there. No foot to the groin or being shoved off the bed. You got to pick your fights, and frankly, this fight isn't that bad."

"Do I even want to know why you know this?" Jean asks.

"Hey, everyone does it. Bertolt's no different. Though that does leave you wondering why he hasn't in a while… probably nervous. Definitely nervous, he's been sweating more than usual."

"Argh… Why can't you do this?"

"I would, but I get a little too loud."

"Fuck… I didn't have to know that."

"I'm just telling you the truth."

"I guess I have my work cut out for me then. So what do I even do?"

"Do? Just go for it. Having sex isn't a big deal. If you go all in, you could probably sleep for days. The good thing is he'll let you top since he's good either way. I'm only saying this because you look like you've never bottomed. Though, if you let him top, you won't regret it. I speak from personal experience."

"I figured..."

"So?"

"I just don't know how to do it. Like, isn't it going to be too loud, and everyone is going to hear us?"

"Nah, everyone kind of sleeps like rocks around here. Bertolt isn't loud, and you can't be worse than me. Just wait until everyone is asleep. Wake Bertl up and have some fun."

"Damn it, Reiner. If I wasn't so desperate for sleep, I'd actually punch you in the face."

"You can try, but you won't leave a mark."

"Oh fuck you Reiner."

"Any time Kirstein."

At the end of the day, Jean stares at the barracks, biting his lip and tightening his fists. He feels a slap on the back and hears a familiar guffaw.

"You look like you can't shit. Loosen up a bit. I've got some stuff for you," Reiner says as he slaps Jean's back again.

Jean just gawks at Reiner like everything is wrong with him.

"Just open your hand. You're lucky I have this," Reiner says.

With that, Reiner drops a bottle into Jean's hand.

"What?" Jean says.

"Don't worry. Bertolt will know what to do with that. Now go get him, stallion," Reiner says.

As Jean walks to the barracks, Reiner folds his arms proudly and grins to himself. Marco, Eren, and Armin walk by him and stop to say hello.

"Why are you smiling like that?" Eren asks.

Reiner slaps Eren and Armin on the back and nods to Marco.

"The little pony is becoming a stallion," he says.

Marco bites his lips and says, "I don't know why, but suddenly I feel really disappointed."

When he actually gets into bed, Jean lies down and plays around with the bottle. Bertolt isn't there quite yet, so Jean doesn't think about what's next. He just sits looking at the bottle before opening it. He sniffs at it and notices the sweet but musky smell. He puts a drop on his fingertip and rubs his fingers together- a little oily and viscous but very clear. He closes the bottle again and places it by his pillow. Other guys start to pile in and head off to their beds. Jean's nervous now. How the fuck does someone have sex in any way with their bunkmate and crush with this many other guys around them? He feels it isn't as easy as Reiner makes it out to be. Still, the very thought of it kind of turns Jean on, and now he's way too fucking embarrassed that he's been turned on by this.

Bertolt is one of the last guys to get to the barracks. Sweating as usual, he plops onto his bed silently and nods to Jean. Someone turns off all of the lights, and suddenly Jean is even more nervous than before. He lies in bed petrified, holding onto the sheets until his knuckles are white. He waits for a few minutes to pass by, hearing some guys already snoring. He only wishes he could just pass out like that.

Beside Jean, Bertolt sleeps on his side. It always starts like this- always sleeping in a normal position but ending in some weird, tortured position. Jean scoots in closer to Bertolt. He's surprised at how much Bertolt sleeps like a rock because he is sure that any other person would notice if their bunkmate's crotch was grinding their ass even slightly. Jean places his hand over Bertolt's side and between his legs. _Desperate times demand for desperate fucking measures_, Jean thinks as he hesitates to even touch, but he stomachs it and starts to rub his hand over Bertolt's groin. No reaction, so Jean decides that he might need to actually directly touch and puts his hand inside Bertolt's pants. But as soon as he does this, his head is smacked by Bertolt's wayward arm. Jean is pretty sure that this is the worst and that Reiner is just fucking with him- like he knew that Jean had a crush on Bertolt and wanted to embarrass them both. So he withdraws his hand and decides that he will just attempt to sleep.

"Why'd you stop?" Bertolt says in a sleepy voice.

Jean's eyes widen as he scoots himself all the way over to the wall. Bertolt turns over, with knitted eyebrows, staring at Jean. He rests his head on his arm and takes Jean's hand in his.

"I'm sorry!" Jean says in a whispered shout.

Bertolt just smiles and laughs quietly.

"Don't be. I really like it," Bertolt says.

"It looked like you were sleeping," Jean says.

"Not really. You were kind of grinding me from the back, and then you started touching me. I was really liking that."

"Look… you don't have to lie. You can tell me you're creeped out."

"Well, I was more surprised to be honest but the good kind of surprised."

Bertolt gathers closely to Jean, leaning his forehead on Jean's.

"My only complaint is that you didn't kiss me first," Bertolt says before he kisses Jean lightly.

As Bertolt pulls back, Jean grimaces at him and says, "you call that a fucking kiss?"

"Then how do you want it?"

Jean practically smashes his mouth against Bertolt's. The more he kisses Bertolt, the more he realizes he's actually into this. He notices that Bertolt must also be enjoying this because his hand moves down to Jean's ass and grabs it. Jean slips his tongue into Bertolt's mouth and finds the gentle moan from Bertolt to be borderline intoxicating. What Bertolt likes most about Jean is that he is seemingly unafraid and brash. He is the opposite of Reiner when it comes to the bedroom as he is reminded when Jean stops kissing and starts nipping at his neck- that Reiner is too sweet with him despite his appearance, a complete teddy bear. He assumes the reason why Jean is just as hotheaded in bed as he is in his life isn't because that's Jean's personality- but his need to prove himself to Bertolt that he isn't a bad lover. It makes Bertolt grin that anyone would try so hard for him.

Bertolt supposes that Jean is little bored with just making out though. So he reaches down to Jean's pants and pulls them down to reveal Jean's dick, already sort of hard. When he stares down, he lazily smiles and looks at Jean who's all red in the face.

"I like you too," Bertolt says, almost too sweetly like he wants Jean to know that he can be relaxed with him.

Jean, not to be out done, does the same to Bertolt, but he feels overwhelmed at the sight of Bertolt's cock. He's not sure why he's so surprised. C_learly any fucker who could put two and two together about anatomy would have figured a guy this size would have a huge cock_, Jean thinks. Bertolt shrugs and then whispers into Jean's ear.

"Don't worry. I know you're new to this," he says.

Bertolt gets closer to Jean, their bodies smashing against each other. He starts to grind his hips against Jean's. Jean gasps as he feels his dick rub against Bertolt's- something so hot that his mind starts to blur at how good it feels. He suddenly gets that smile of Bertolt's- that sort of smile that's too shy but really knows exactly what it does to people. Disarming, Jean would say. No one would be able to tell during training that reserved Bertolt Hoover is actually a master of sex, and he knows and loves that fact. Jean thinks this before Bertolt's hand reaches to Jean's ass and slides a finger between the crack. Jean immediately stiffens, and Bertolt withdraws his hand.

"Sorry, I thought you might like to know what it feels like for me… But I forgot that I don't have anything. So it probably would be a little uncomfortable for you," Bertolt says.

Jean then remembers the gift that he received from Reiner and makes the connection. He reaches behind to where he put the bottle and holds it up wearing that smirk that almost everyone secretly finds charming. Bertolt can't resist and kisses Jean before taking the bottle.

"Reiner must really like you," Bertolt says as he takes off Jean's pants completely. He kicks off his own and sheds his shirt as well. His skin shines in the moonlight. Jean wants to laugh because he's almost positive that Bertolt has been sweating the whole entire time, but he still finds it kind of beautiful.

"Why would that asshole like me?" Jean asks.

"I don't know, but he would never give you one of his most prized possessions if he didn't," Bertolt says.

"You're gonna show me the big deal about this stuff?"

Bertolt laughs and kisses Jean. As much as he likes Jean's eagerness, Bertolt prefers that they take things slow. He strokes Jean's side until Jean is whining, trying to create some friction between he and Bertolt by rubbing against Bertolt's thighs. Bertolt ignores Jean's obvious play by sucking on Jean's neck and biting him. He takes hold of Jean's hands and weaves his fingers between Jean's. He moves Jean's arms above Jean's head, slightly arresting him. Bertolt is on top of Jean, showering him with kisses. He grabs Jean's hand again and starts sucking on Jean's fingers slowly. His tongue runs across Jean's index and middle finger, and he removes the fingers from his mouth slowly. When Jean looks up at Bertolt wide eyed and amazed, he is taken aback by how damn alluring Bertolt is looking down at him with a slight smile and glint in his eyes. Bertolt liberally coats his and Jean's fingers with the lube from the bottle. He doesn't think twice as he puts one of his fingers in his ass and starts to make one of the lewdest displays in front of Jean. Bertolt adds another one of his fingers before beckoning Jean to put in one as well. Jean's finger slips beside Bertolt's, and he feels overwhelmed at how hot Bertolt looks with his eyes closed, mouth slightly open, and his cock standing at full attention. But then suddenly Bertolt removes himself from his and Jean's fingers and pounces onto Jean.

"I think I'm ready," Bertolt says.

Jean isn't quite sure what Bertolt is saying. He just stares up at Bertolt who is straddling Jean and inching back. Then before Jean figures it out, there Bertolt is holding Jean's cock before he lets it sink into himself. Jean's mouth hangs open. He can't find any words to describe how he feels or even the right words to praise Bertolt for being as amazing as he is. Instead, unintelligible sounds and moans escape from Jean in the haze of pleasure that he feels. His hands try to grasp anything in reach just so he can anchor himself into some sort of reality. He grips onto Bertolt's thighs as Bertolt rises and falls on Jean's cock. Jean is overwhelmed by everything: how good Bertolt feels from the inside, the image of Bertolt and his dripping dick practically bouncing, and the sound of the two of them panting and moaning. Jean has lost total control of his body. There's that seizing deep in his balls, and he knows what is happening- and he gladly welcomes the pleasure that envelops him and releases into Bertolt.

Bertolt is surprised as he feels Jean come but maybe not as surprised as Jean himself. Jean's eyes are as wide as the moon, and a blush covers his entire face. He quickly covers his face and starts to sob as Bertolt climbs off Jean. Bertolt cradles Jean in his arms and kisses his hands.

"I was your first?" Bertolt asks as he pulls Jean's hands from his face.

Jean bites his lips and doesn't look Bertolt in the eyes.

"I wish you had told me. This isn't the kind of place for that. I would have made this special for you," Bertolt says.

"I just… I just…" Jean says.

"Reiner told you about me. Right?"

Jean nods.

"Not about that. About you and me," Bertolt says.

"About me?" Jean says.

"Yeah. I really like you, and Reiner has known for a while. Honestly when you started groping me, I thought I was having one of my fantasies. I haven't been able to sleep well because I haven't been able to do anything about it since I figured you'd think that was kind of weird."

"Wait! You like me? Like, like me?"

"Huh? Yeah. For a while actually."

Jean puffs his cheeks and pouts a little, something that endears him to Bertolt.

"Then I kind of ruined our night. I just didn't really expect it to be the way it was. You were just amazing, and I've never done this before. And maybe I kind of like you too, but I didn't want to say anything because I kind of fuck things up with people I like. I mean I say the dumbest things in front of people I like so I have to pretend I don't like you so I could say normal things. But really I like you. And I'm sorry I came inside of you like that, and I didn't warn you. But next time I promise I won't do that, and I promise that I won't come in like two seconds. I'll practice or something-"

Bertolt places a finger of Jean's mouth and kisses his overly eager lover's forehead.

"If what you say is what you mean, then you don't have to worry about any of that. We can go at our own pace. I promise you that you won't come too early or anything. You'll come at the right time like you did just then. You felt good to me, and I'm just happy I made you feel just as good. That's what matters," Bertolt says.

"Still, I feel shitty for leaving you high and dry," Jean says.

Jean eyes Bertolt's still hard dick. He reaches out to it and begins to rub the head slowly. Bertolt gasps as Jean's curious hand continues its exploration of his length. He only stops Jean so he can kiss him.

"Bertolt… do you want to try again?" Jean asks.

Bertolt tilts his head. Jean starts to blush a bit again.

"Like maybe… you want to put your cock in me… I mean… if you want to," Jean says.

"Only if you want to," Bertolt says.

Jean nods, and Bertolt flips Jean onto his stomach. He places a hand on Jean's on back and rubs his shoulders. He takes the bottle of lube and places a copious amount into his hands. Bertolt leans in to kiss the back of Jean's neck, which causes Jean to shudder beneath him. With one hand on the small of Jean's back and the other between his ass, Bertolt's fingertip rubs Jean's entrance before he enters in. He can feel Jean wince beneath him, and so he tries to go slower to allow Jean to get used to the foreign feeling. He adds another finger as see Jean adjust and lean into his hand. The slow pumping of Bertolt's fingers actually becomes less of an intrusion for Jean and something actually pleasant. Even as Bertolt adds another finger, Jean hums along and starts to feel his dick start to stir back up. He feels lost in the rhythm and the warmth of Bertolt's breath across his back as he lays kisses upon shoulder blades. Bertolt removes his hand from Jean's ass and places the head of his length at Jean's entrance. He slicks his length with some lube and sighs as he touches himself. Jean bites his lips in anticipation, unsure of how he will take this, but Bertolt is the gentlest lover. His hands smooth over Jean's ass and trail up to his hips.

"You can tell me to stop right now, and I wouldn't even think twice about it. So Jean, ask yourself, do you really want me inside you?" Bertolt asks.

"…Yeah. So do it please," Jean says.

The way Jean says please makes Bertolt want to just skip to the cuddling, but he isn't sure if he can handle a moment more without finding some release. So Bertolt starts to sink his length in Jean and moans with relief. Beneath him, Jean clutches onto the sheets. Even with all the preparation, the shock of having something so full as Bertolt's cock is too much for Jean, but Bertolt has the patience of saints and waits for Jean to feel more comfortable before moving. He's slow with his thrusts and massages Jean's sides. It's sweet to Jean who is attempting to discover the pleasure in this, and slowly but surely he starts to feel good again. Jean leans back into each thrust and bites his lip as he tries to suppress the moans. Bertolt leans into Jean and takes hold of Jean's hardening length, which fully hardens in his hand as he gives it a few pumps. Jean doesn't even have to look back to know that Bertolt is smiling over this.

"This… this is why you came at the right time," Bertolt says.

"-Why?" Jean says.

"So we could come together," Bertolt says as if this was obvious from the beginning.

Bertolt's pace quickens. His hands tighten their grip over Jean's hips. His mind spins around in the pleasure that he feels build more and more with each thrust. He puts his hand back onto Jean's cock and moves his hand to his rhythm. Jean's voice almost cracks, hoarse with his whimpers and cries for Bertolt to move faster. Bertolt doesn't need to think about Jean's pleadings as if his body works on instinct as he pushes in and out of Jean faster and harder than before. This must have been all Jean could handle because with a few more strokes from Bertolt, Jean comes all over Bertolt's hand and on top of their sheets. Bertolt could almost smirk in satisfaction in making Jean come twice if it weren't for the fact that he was close behind Jean. His hips snap into a frenzied pace, trying to bring himself the same kind of pleasure he's given to Jean twice. Pleasure builds inside of him until finally Bertolt shoots his release inside of his new lover. Out of breath and exhausted, Bertolt collapses onto Jean before removing himself. Jean wants to complain, but Bertolt shuts him up with kisses.

"Hey, you're crushing me," Jean says.

"Sorry, I just was so happy about that," Bertolt says.

Bertolt quickly gets off of Jean but snuggles right by him. His arms tightly wrap around Jean with no chance of Jean escaping. Jean's face completely flushes at Bertolt's possessiveness.

"You… you don't have to be sorry about that," Jean says.

"Thanks."

"So… Bertolt…."

"Yeah?"

"Does this mean we're?"

"If you want to."

"Yeah."

"Then we are. So Jean, how about we get some sleep?"

"That sounds great," Jean says as he puts his arms around Bertolt and rests his head on Bertolt's chest. He closes his eyes and feels the best sleep start to kick in.


End file.
